Can We Be Welcoming and Hold to a Standard?

A question that came to my mind after the most recent Annual Conference is – can we be welcoming of others and still hold to a Biblical standard or belief?  This question arises from time to time in my thinking when we deal with issues where there is a difference in interpretation of the Scriptures.  One area is our view of sexuality (and there are other subjects as well).  Dealing with sexuality for the moment – how can the church be welcoming to those heterosexual persons who live together outside of marriage – if living together outside of marriage is seen as sinful?  How can the church be welcoming to homosexual persons who actively practice their sexual preference – if acting on that preference is seen as sinful?  Is there a way to be welcoming of sinners without accepting sin?

How far can the church bend without breaking?  Is overlooking sin acceptable – since all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and continue to do so?  Is there a loving way to accept the sinner without accepting the sin?

Far too often – as a fairly conservative person theologically – I am made to feel by those of a more liberal view – that I cannot be accepting of the person without accepting their choices in life.  That somehow I have entered into the arena of judgement to try to hold to a view of Scripture that says there are sinful choices in life – even some absolutes if I might.  I believe you can show love to someone without accepting every choice they make in life.

And before someone writes it is not a choice it is how they/we were/are made – everything we do is a choice.  We may have some natural tendencies toward one thing or the other – but all of our actions are a consequence of choices we make.  We chose to obey God or not – to follow God’s teachings or not – we are not animals – acting on our every urge – we have choices.

The question is – can the church welcome a person and love them while at the same time strive to help them (as they or others help us) live without sin?  Do we have to accept all things – all choices – before we can be considered welcoming?  I think not.  What do you think?

Another question that was raised has to do with differing views of Scripture.  Can differing views be right or is one view automatically wrong if the other is right?

God’s Design for Marriage

With marriage under great debate these days – resources that clearly help us see God’s design for marriage would be very helpful.  Focus on the Family has such a resource on their website – Relationships and Marriage.  This is a great resource and worth your time in reading it.

If you are preparing to get married or one day would like to, there is a great section on Why Wait for Sex, that will answer a lot of the questions we might ask.  Our youth director is doing a series on purity with our youth and this would be a great resource for their parents as well as for them.

There is also a great section on Parenting.  The website is filled with helpful ideas and Biblical truths surrounding the family.  New President Jim Daly is taking Focus on the Family and continuing the great family ministry that we have come to know and love.

Check it out and share some marriage and family resources you have found.

Homosexuality: For Some Reason The Debate Rages On

A hot topic in our society today is same sex marriages which is an extension of the debate about homosexuality that has raged for decades.  The District of Columbia recently approved same sex marriage in the District.  Recently the Attorney General of Maryland said Maryland would recognize same sex marriages done legally in other jurisdictions.  Today – Wednesday, March 3, 2010 – the courts In DC will be open to start performing same sex marriages.  Read a news article here.  How this will impact the churches in the District is yet to be seen.  More and more we will see secular law and church law in conflict.  How men and women of faith react to this difference will be interesting.

Let me suggest that the question that is before us is not whether homosexuality is a bigger sin than any other sin – because it is not.  We all have sin in our lives and through God’s grace, we must repent of them and strive to live without those sins.  This is an ongoing battle for each of us. The question at hand in society and in the church is whether homosexuality – and acting upon those sexual desires – is sinful?

This has been debated in the United Methodist Church since the 1970′s at our General Conference.  Through legislation in our Book of Discipline the subject of Homosexuality and functions of that lifestyle have been dealt with extensively.  The current 2008 Discipline says this about marriage and homosexuality.

BOD 2008 – ¶161.B: Marriage—We affirm the sanctity of the marriage covenant that is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and shared fidelity between a man and a woman. We believe that God’s blessing rests upon such marriage, whether or not there are children of the union. We reject social norms that assume different standards for women than for men in marriage. We support laws in civil society that define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

BOD 2008 – ¶161.F: The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching.

I believe the Bible is clear as well in this discussion/debate.  In describing the sin nature of humanity, we read that same sex behavior is part of the sinful desires of the heart. (I include some extra verses to show context)

Romans 1:18-27 – 18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities — his eternal power and divine nature — have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. 24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator — who is forever praised. Amen. 26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

In telling us that sin, unrepented sin, will keep us from the kingdom of God, homosexuality is listed among these sins:

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 – 9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Even with such statements, the debate rages on.  There are those in the church today that suggest that being homosexual is akin to being male or female, or being a person of color.  They suggest that as women and people of color were wrongly oppressed in our society at one time, so homosexuals are being wrongly oppressed.  This assumes that being homosexual is normal and natural and not a deviation from God’s plan.  Those who believe this way will continue to make this an issue in our denomination and in the wider church (see what has happened in the Episcopal Church).

As mentioned earlier, same sex marriages has been made lawful in the District of Columbia.  It is not out of the question that some United Methodist pastors will challenge church law and the Scriptures and perform same sex marriages in the District.  This will be a chargeable offense in our denomination.  It will be a sad day in the church that will further divide us.  I pray that the conference leadership will prayerfully stand by the Discipline of our church if such a blatant act occurs.

I believe that Scripture and the United Methodist Church have sided with the truth that homosexuality is not compatible with Christian teaching and is a deviation from God’s plan and order.  Having said this, I also believe that the church should minister to those caught in the sin of homosexuality as we strive to reach out to others caught in other sins.

Churches should support groups like Exodus International. This group is striving to minister to homosexuals, helping them to leave their deviant lifestyles.  Local churches should develop ministries like Exodus International on their local level to minister to the gay and lesbian community.

Using another social sin as an example, it is not enough to say we are opposed to abortion.  We must be active in helping unwed mothers and other mothers who find themselves in unwanted pregnancies.  We must be willing to step up and help society see that abortion is not the answer, there are other solutions.  We need to be active in loving and ministering to those caught in sin in whatever form we find it – in our lives and in the lives of those God has placed in our path.

Our discipline also says that homosexuals are people of sacred worth – they are loved by God as are we all – so we need to step up and stop simply naming sin.  We need to step up and minister to those caught in sin.  That is what the church is called to do!

I would like to open a dialogue around the subject of ministry to the gay and lesbian community.  Is anyone interested?

Every Man’s Battle

I would urge every man – and every parent of a son – to watch this video and take serious the sin of pornography.  It is not a passage of life.  It is not a small problem.  It is real and it is a sin that captures the hearts of many men today.

Here is the website for the book – http://www.fredstoeker.com/book/everymansbattle.shtml.

We have a group that is studying this book and would love to walk with you in this struggle.  Contact the church office to find out what day and time this group meets.  There are those who would start a new group if the current group doesn’t meet your needs.

Ephesians 5:3

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Sexual Immorality

Help me define sexual immorality? I had a discussion with some young adults about sexual immorality. I have added a few scriptures and named some sexually immoral things. Are there more?

Colossians 3:5 – Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

1 Corinthians 6:18 – Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

1 Corinthians 10:8 – We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did — and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 – It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;

Jude 7 – In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

Define the following from Scripture:

Adultery
Fornication
Homosexuality
Pornography
Lust
Name and define some more

One of the things I mentioned to the young adults I was talking to was that if you avoid promiscuous living before you get married, your life’s partner will be the only person you will ever know – and thus – they will be the best you have ever known.  Comparisons can be a killer in marriage.  Mental pictures will haunt you if you have multiple partners in your memory banks.

Your thoughts?

This is a repeat post from 2008 – you can find the original and some comments left here.  Amazing how the topic doesn’t change even as the faces change.  Sexuality is one of our strongest desires.  Yet God has a plan for our sexuality and a way to make it pure and a great experience.