Ray McDonald's Blog

Thoughts and Reflections

Grief Needs To Be Processed

Genesis 25:8

Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people.

I ran across today’s passage again this week. It reminded me of my father who was 84 and although I would have liked to have had him around another 16 years or so – he was at a good old age when he died five years ago. Before he died he told me he was ready to meet his Maker – even though he would have loved to stay around to be with a family that he loved and who loved him. One of the comforting thoughts I cling to is that as much as he loves us – he wouldn’t trade a moment of heaven for another moment with us. He is in God’s glory!

As I processed and dealt with my father’s passing – over the next 4 plus years my siblings and I faced the passing of our mom as well. Dealing with death is not easy dear readers. I ran across the five stages of grief according to the Kubler-Ross model. Those five stages are 1) Denial, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression, and 5) Acceptance. A link to more information about these five stages of grief can be found here.

Have you had a loved one die? If so – how have you dealt with it? I’ve always been an emotional person – so I have found myself crying a lot. I mean – one year on vacation – I would sit out on the deck and watch the water and cry my eyes out. This week I found myself crying as I looked at pictures on my computer of my dad. A video comes up on Facebook about a father coming home from war and the emotions of his family when they first see him – and I cry. I watch an Andy Griffith episode and I cry as Andy is being a good father to Opie – reminding me of the good father I had in dad. I know my office staff must think I’m going loony because I can be found crying in my office from time to time! I guess the good from all of this is I know my tear ducts work and my eyes are being cleansed!

Not sure what stage I’m in – I’ll leave that to the three social workers in my family – but I know that grief is real and that even if we are not emotional – like I am – we need to process our feelings. To stuff our feelings is not healthy. It may not be healthy to cry as much as I do – but – somehow we need to deal with our grief when a loved one passes.

I have held short term Bereavement Support Groups – at times they are filled – at times they are lightly attended. It always seems to help when we can share our thoughts with others who have experienced similar things. I would be willing to hold this support group again – for a few weeks – if there are others who might need to talk. I know I would benefit from them – having lost my mom in the past year. Call the office – e-mail me – or comment on the devotional thought and we’ll see what we can do!

Just something for us to think about today as we go on our way.


September 29, 2017 - Posted by | Build, Church, Community, Daily Devotion, Discipleship, Encouragement, Evangelism, Faith Journey, Family, From the Pastor, Leadership, Personal, Prayer, Theology | , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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