Ray McDonald's Blog

Thoughts and Reflections

My Annual Warning for Men/Husbands

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. The Message

Life ChangeValentine’s Day is just 7 days away. This is a warning devotional for men who might need the reminder. After 39+ years with my wife I write with some experience. What do we plan to do this year brothers? Traditionally this is a holiday where men are supposed to show their love and affection for the women in their lives. So men – what do we have planned? If nothing is planned yet – this is our warning to get something planned – ASAP. The following are some thoughts. If you are a wife reading this – you might want to print it for the man in your life!

In The Message version of the Bible – we read from Paul’s Epistle today’s passage: Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.

Here’s a plan for February 14th – just a suggestion or two! Start by getting a nice card – it can be store-bought or homemade. If you have little ones – get a sitter for the evening of the 14th or a night you plan to celebrate this holiday. Make a reservation by this weekend or soon for a nice restaurant (McDonald’s will not cut it – doesn’t have to be the Chart House or Ruth Chris Steak House – but something nice). Buy something – it doesn’t need to be from Zales! You could buy some flowers – a small box of candies – a piece of jewelry – something! Bring it with you to the dinner – or have it delivered while you’re having dinner. The key here is that you get the sitter – you make the reservation – you go out of your way to purchase something for her. Most women aren’t so concerned with what you get them – rather they are impressed when you take the time to plan a nice evening with them – and you take the initiative to take care of all the details.

If you want to do something on a larger scale – offer to do the housework for a week or better yet – make a small promise booklet that might have anywhere from a dozen to two dozen promise notes/coupons. They could say: good for one night out–anytime – or good for a night/weekend out with the girls–I’ll take care of the children. Be creative and have her in mind – not you – when you make the coupons – what would be a special gift for her.

Think with me for a moment – how much energy and time have we spent planning a hunting trip? Planning a golf outing? Planning a business trip? Spend that much time and energy – maybe even more – on this Valentine’s Day. If the 14th is not a good night – plan it for another day during the week or the weekend – but plan it ahead of time and let her know you have a special night planned. Make a CD or load your iPod with her favorite music on it to play in the car to and from the dinner and for time back at home (children already in bed or at grandparents’s for the evening). Sit around and talk – at the restaurant – in the car – NO cell phone – NO computer – NO TV interruptions. Spend the time focused on her and her happiness. DO NOT have any ulterior motives! I mean it! Simply spend an evening where she is the focus of your time and energy.

Men – read me when I say that the majority of marital issues – in my 43 years of counseling – are because wives feel taken for granted. They feel like housekeepers – maids and a mistress – rather than a partner for life whose opinions count and are of value. They often do not feel like they are second in our lives – right behind God! Too often they feel like they rank – if they rank at all – beneath our hobbies – our jobs – football on TV – in other words the things we show them with our time are important to us.

Here is another point – don’t do this only on Valentine’s Day. If you both work outside the home – share the home chores. Help take care of the children – prepare some of the meals or clean up after the meals. Work together so that you both have time to sit and read the paper or talk to one another. Honor your wife and your life will go well for you!

Here is today’s Scripture in context:  Ephesians 5:25-28 – 25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. 26 Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. 28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor — since they’re already “one” in marriage. The Message

Just something for us to think about today as we go on our way.

P.S. – Each day in 2019 – as we approach February 23rd and the Special General Conference of the UMC – spend 5 minutes praying for the Holy Spirit to touch the hearts of the delegates. Thanks.

February 8, 2019 - Posted by | Build, Church, Community, Daily Devotion, Daily Prayer, Denomination, Discipleship, Encouragement, Evangelism, Faith Journey, From the Pastor, Holy Spirit, Leadership, Marriage, Outreach, Personal, Prayer, Theology | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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