Ray McDonald's Blog

Thoughts and Reflections

Helping Our Marriages

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

June 2019This is an oldie but a goodie. I have written about marriage many times and because I’m having a busy week – I pulled this post from the archives and reworked it some to post today. I thought this post might begin some conversations in our homes and enlighten us concerning ways to help our marriages. It is targeted at men for sure but was useful the first time I used it and I bet it will be this time too. Women can learn too!

I found an article online, by Paul Peterson. The article listed six ideas for husbands to improve their marriage. I thought they were pretty good so I will list them and then see if our readers can come up with additional things a husband can do. I’m still trying to find an article that would help women be better wives. Maybe it hasn’t been written yet because they are perfect (LOL) – I know my wife is!

Some of these items might seem outdated – but – believe me – many of them are still good ideas in many marriages. Adapt them to your context and make additions too.

Here is the list I found:

#1 Date your wife every week.

Just do it. Turn off the TV, say “no” to your buddies, find a babysitter and date that lady! Date her just like you did BEFORE you married her!

#2 Kids in bed by 8 p.m.

Your wife needs you WITHOUT the kids! Kids up after 8 is kids up to late! This is not so much about the kids as it is about you and her! Help her get those kids in bed so you two can make out… or make up… or just enjoy each other as you clean the house.

#3 Teamwork

Teammates don’t go “tit-for-tat”; they work together to win the game! They do what needs to be done. Husband, look around what needs to be done that you can do now… even if she normally does it? Can you run the vacuum? Brush the kid’s teeth? Fill the dog dish? See what you can do and do it… you’ll be surprised at what happens!

#4 Open the door for her

This is about being a gentleman. When Sherri and I were newlyweds I opened the car door for her (I still do). One time a “friend” said, “Ha! You’ll not be doing that a few years from now.” I wanted to say, “Dude, just because your marriage sucks doesn’t mean mine will.” Men, be a gentleman. Treat your wife with honor and respect. Speak well of her and give her the honor a lady deserves. Be a gentleman.

#5 Do Domestic Detail

This is a manly way to say “help around the house.” You can do laundry or dishes without having to check in your “Man Card.” Help your bride around the house. I do all the laundry and clean up everything after supper (in addition to being a teammate and doing other “domestic details” that need attending). Men, a great way to show your wife you love her (in addition to the constant groping and grunting) is to help her.

#6 Do things the way she would do them

Sherri is meticulous. I’m not. She folds her dirty clothes before she puts them in the hamper. I’m lucky if mine hit the hamper. I used to criticize this. Now I realize that it doesn’t take long to do things her way and it makes me a better man in addition to making our home a better place! She has a certain way she likes her dishes put away. I used to fight it. Now I do it her way. The result = the kitchen looks great and my bride thinks I’m sexy (I have no clue how sexy and dishes go together but they do). I’ve just realized that on most things it’s not worth having a conversation about. Just do it her way when you’re helping her!

So there you go. Six ideas that you can start doing immediately that will create a better marriage and contribute to a better world. What do you think? Any suggestions? Anything here you would change? Do you think these would help our marriages? How about some ideas readers? We’re always trying to improve our marriages – right? If you’ve seen an article for women please leave a link in the comment section!

Just something for us to think about today as we go on our way.

July 24, 2019 - Posted by | Build, Church, Community, Daily Devotion, Discipleship, Encouragement, Evangelism, Faith Journey, Family, From the Pastor, Leadership, Marriage, Outreach, Personal, Theology | , , , , , , , , , ,

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